Of Ducks and Witches

If she weighs the same as a duck...she's made of wood...and therefore...she's a witch!

I don't recall a time when I've ever stepped onto a political or social soapbox, but by gum I just have to say something about this whole Chick-Fil-A situation. Not about what actually was or wasn't said or which Constitutional Amendments might have been violated or even whether the pro-family right is a better or worse position than the liberal left.

What really gets my boxers in a bunch is how quick everyone is to allow misrepresentations in the media to inflame their thoughtless passions. I think the Zombie Apocalypse started many years ago when sensationalist media started eating people's brains. It's times like these that make me glad to be a writer, where I can escape from the chaos of reality and create worlds where people actually use their heads before grabbing torches to light up the old woman with nose warts and a black hat.

Maybe it's the way I was raised. My parents always encouraged me to be skeptical about the things I see and hear, to ask questions, to have doubts, to do a little research on news and issues, and to hear all sides before drawing my own conclusions. I don't depend on other people to tell me what or how to think and I absolutely REFUSE to become impassioned about something I first read on the Internet.

It didn't take long after Dan Cathy's interview statements were taken out of context by the media that liberals everywhere became outraged and photos began appearing all over social websites. The most ridiculous of these snapshots depicted billboards at national fast food chains carrying the slogan "We support Chick-Fil-A, now try to boycott us!" People began Liking all these pictures and sharing them on their personal accounts. Did anyone even once stop to wonder about the validity of any of this? My, how easily our nation is distracted and flustered by anyone these days with digital imaging software and access to the Internet. The pictures reminded me of my absolute favorite quote from Facebook:

"Don't believe everything you see on the internet" - Abraham Lincoln

This whole Chick-Fil-A hype is really a call to arms for writers everywhere to remember our solemn duty to create work that inspires and restores order back into today's over-stimulated, over-reactive, over-entertained, over-educated, over-sensationalized, and over-manipulated society. Let's give people a reason to ask for their brains back because there's an awfully tremendous need for them right now.

Revision Checklist

I recently read a book titled "Stein on Writing" by editor/author/instructor Sol Stein. A section of his book is dedicated to helping writers revise their drafts in the most efficient and effective manner. Since many of our members have completed first drafts and are now in revision mode, I thought this would be a timely lesson to share.

When I first began writing, I figured I'd be finished with my story as soon as I typed the words "The End" in my first draft. I didn't know much about the revision process and thought my first draft would be my final submission after making a few minor spelling and grammar changes. Wow was I ever wrong!

I've come to think that the process of story-writing is much more like baking a cake. Writing that first draft is like gathering all the necessary ingredients together and setting them out on the kitchen counter to see what you have to work with and discover what you might still be missing. It isn't until the draft is written and the ingredients are all together that you whip out your revising cups and tablespoons and begin measuring in the flour, sugar, eggs, and spices until it tastes just right. Several revisions later, you're preheating the oven and spreading the frosting for everyone to enjoy!

According to Sol Stein, the best way to revise is to start with the big problems first. Then you work on the medium problems, small problems, and finally the tiny changes such as grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

Tackle these areas in succession to make your revision process as quick and effective as possible:

1. Determine what represents the sense of wonder, enlightenment, or excitement in your story and make sure that level of enthusiasm is maintained throughout the story. Too many stories start out exciting and then just fizzle out.
2. Is the main character exciting enough to hold the reader's interest throughout the story? What motivates the main character and drives her to act and change throughout the story?
3. Do you really like your antagonist? You should! Your antagonist should be just as motivated to accomplish her goals as your protagonist and just as driven to succeed. Is your antagonist truly bad, or does she just behave badly? Villains who are truly evil are much more enjoyable than cardboard cut-outs who just cause trouble for the heck of it. What endearing or charming qualities does your villain possess that would allow the reader to care about them?
4. Don't neglect your minor characters. They need to be credible and believable with their own motivations to act.
5. Is the conflict between the protagonist and the antagonist credible and strong enough to sustain the reader's attention throughout the story?
6. What is your most memorable scene? What makes it work so well? How can less memorable scenes be strengthened to this level?
7. What is your least memorable scene? Does it move the story forward? Would the story be stronger without it? Consider rewriting it or cut it out completely.
8. What are the three most important actions in your story? Are they motivated in a believable way? Remember that "coincidence" in a story is not a credible reason for any action to occur. Review all other actions and either strengthen, rewrite, or cut them if they're not absolutely necessary to moving the story forward.
9. Place yourself in the reader's seat and read the first page of your story. Are you compelled to keep reading? If not, you have work to do.
10. Make sure there's something visual on every single page of your story. Never give the reader an excuse to remember they're reading a story. Help them visualize and become involved in the story.
11. After fixing all the above, you're now ready for general revisions:

• Tighten the manuscript by cutting every word, sentence, paragraph and scene that does not contribute to the story. Be ruthless with your word choice and make every word work.
• Vary your sentence lengths to avoid a monotonous voice.
• Make sure the pacing matches your story arc.
• Fix point of view errors.
• Make sure the tension continues to mount throughout the story and the stakes are continually raised for the protagonist.
• Get rid of all but the most essential adjectives and adverbs.
• Eliminate all cliches and rewrite for originality.
• Vary and clarify all dialogue tags.
• Look for precise word choices and meanings.
• Add variety to your dialogue. Can exposition be replaced by dialogue? Is the dialogue confrontational enough? Does it actually move the story forward or is it just banter?
• Last but not least, correct all spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors.

By correcting the biggest problems first and working through your manuscript with the checklist above, your revision process will be much more focused, productive, and efficient.

By following this process, I've also learned to quiet my inner editor while I furiously write that first heated draft because I already know it won't be - and shouldn't be - perfect. I now know that writing my draft is just a way to sort through all the cupboards, drawers, and pantries looking for ideas and ingredients for a feast I can worry about baking and garnishing later for my readers.

Come Write With Us!

Throughout the entire month of February, Fiction Flurry will be hosting on-line write-ins!  That's right, you can join us from the comfort of your own home, fuzzy slippers and all!

So pop on over to the Fiction Flurry Facebook page and write to your heart's content.  We usually hang out from about 7:30 to 10:00 most nights.  Come support one another and let's conquer those writing challenges together!